My "Balance" Doctor

This is an excerpt from a response I wrote today to a lady on the Road Back Foundation Bulletin Board about whether or not to pursue lyme treatment. I feel that it really sums up where I am right now in terms of my healing and my view on health altogether... so I am going ahead to post it here on my autoimmune blog as well. Maybe someday it will help bring encouragement or faith to someone suffering from a "mysterious" autoimmune problem ~ and that would be wonderful.

I wrote:

"At the end of the day, I had almost every single lyme symptom on any lyme checklist I could find. I figured it was better to embark on a treatment and see what happened, rather than continuing to live feeling awful and foggy - and having so many MDs offer to give me antidepressants because they couldn't come up for an explanation for my symptoms. Or even more frustrating, to have multiple doctors tell me that I was likely developing an autoimmune disease but only time would tell which one, and there were no cures for any of them anyway.

I am seeing a well respected LLMD/ND (naturopathic doctor) and I have to say that I am already noticing positive changes based on the protocol I have been on for 3 weeks. They are small changes. However, just knowing that I am actively doing something to improve my health makes me feel better and more positive.

I honestly view my lyme doctor as a "balance" doctor. She is helping me to get my body back into balance - and frankly, who cares how it got that way. I have tested positive twice (via Labcorp) for active mycoplasma infection, my hormones are off, my adrenals aren't functioning normally, I have Hashimoto's - you name it. Plenty of "traditional lab" bloodwork to show that my body isn't happy with something. I believe that following up with the lyme by taking appropriate antimicrobials, balancing out the hormones, healing my gut with probiotics, cutting out gluten and if necessary taking antifungals... all of this is just getting my body back into balance.

So many people have told me in the past week how much better I am looking, and I don't even need this wonderful validation because overall, I have more energy and I can think more clearly. I am less depressed. Something is really helping me.

Thanks to all of the last 3 months, I no longer believe in autoimmune disease or even cancer. (I was checking out the studies last night on PubMed showing a proven causal relationship between bacteria/viruses and cancer... there is so much evidence out there.) At this point, I simply believe that we are [mammals] exposed to bacteria, protozoa, viruses and environmental toxins - which combined with poor diet, lack of sleep and stress, create illnesses that we have classified into different categories and given names like "Alzheimer's" or "Scleroderma". I think the main thing is to be proactive in getting your body back into balance.

The great thing about Lyme doctors, is that they really do look at you holistically. My LLMDs are the only people who look at me and don't think it is crazy or tragic that I have thyroid, adrenal, bladder and vulvadynia problems, along with disc hernations. They nod their heads and say, "Yep, all of that is typical lyme and babesia." For them, I'm just a run-of-the-mill patient. I can't tell you how good that feels, to be viewed as simply a normal person who has contracted lyme and possibly co-infections."

I really am feeling different. It is hard to quantify just yet, since I have only been on treatment for 3 weeks. However, I know for sure the treatment isn't hurting me - I just had a CBC run last week and my creatinine was at its best level in the last year, my kidney function is awesome :-) All of my numbers looked great. Other than that, my skin has got its color back, my acid reflux is about 85% improved, my digestive tract has normalized in such a great way, I have more energy, and I can think more clearly. I don't think I have been slurring my words as much either. I feel positive and optimistic.

Of course, there are plenty of symptoms I'd love to see cleared up. I'd love to have the parasthesias around my body go away, for one. I'd love to improve my spinal alignment... had a disc go out this weekend and it was excruciating until the chiro put it back in. I'd love to stop feeling itchy, to have physical stamina, and to be able to remember things as sharply as I used to. Having been a "smart" person most of my life, it has been enormously humbling to feel not very smart most of the time. I'd love to have just a little bit of my mental edge back again, if only to enjoy spirited debates with my adorable husband again.

Still, I feel like I am on the right track for which I am so grateful. I'm not as worried right now that I won't be here to see my kids grow up... I'm feeling more optimistic all the time.

Starting Treatment Protocol for Lyme Disease

I've been a little nervy all day today. Things are going to change, starting tomorrow, and I'm praying that it will turn out to be for the better :-)

I never really explained throughout the last two months what has been happening with me, and I realize that to the average reader who is not already one of my friends or family members, it may have suddenly gotten a little difficult to follow my path.

In a nutshell:

1) After seeing two GI specialists, I learned that I do not have eosinophilic esophagitis or esophageal cancer. The peristalsis in my esophagus is very slow and smooth muscle is hypotensive, also the LES is hyptotensive. Oh, and a 2cm hiatal hernia. This is apparently seen in a variety of collagen vascular disorders, diabetes, hypothyroidism and untreated GERD. My GI in Sacramento said that he believes this is severe GERD and of course wants me on a PPI. I didn't respond well to the drug, and am now trying to go the way of probiotics, dietary change and sleeping elevated.

2) The rheumatologist said there are no current signs of Scleroderma. Bloodwork remains negative, although ANA was positive at 1:40 with a speckled pattern. Rheumatologist said this could be from my Hashimoto's thyroiditis, or possibly even just "normal". Apparently 1/3 of population has this particular finding. He will check me again in November.

3) I tested positive for Lyme disease via an IgM Western Blot serum test. Diagnosis was given in late July by one LLMD and confirmed yesterday by another LLMD/ND. Also confirmed via biofeedback, but I still don't know where I stand on those machines. I have also tested positive, twice, for Mycoplasma Pneumonaie IgM and IgG. Today I had my blood drawn for the last of the co-infection tests... babesia (two kinds), bartonella (two kinds). Also h.pylori. Very, very interested to get results back from this testing.

4) I have begun working with a very talented and highly regarded LLMD/ND who is going to help me walk this path of healing slowly and deliberately. We are going to address all of my known imbalances - female hormones, adrenals, thyroid, heavy metals, candida, bacteria. Starting up slowly with only adrenal support and one anti-microbial. Going to take it from there. It should be a long path but I am ready to do anything to be with my children well into their adulthood. I have been told that healing from chronic lyme and co-infections can take anywhere between 9 months and 3 years on average, possibly longer. I am ready.

5) I am following the lyme diet which means that once again I am going gluten free, and mostly dairy and sugar free. Hoping I will be able to re-add rice into the rotation without hurting my gut too much. I miss the comfort of the wheat bread but not the exhaustion, brain fog and acid reflux I was getting after every slice.

6) Thanks to the incredible generosity of a local clinic owner I am going to get infrared sauna treatments 2 - 3x per week for a price that my family can afford... also, they offer massage covered through Aetna (yay!!!) and I will continue acupuncture and using EFT for inner balance. Also acupuncture on Sundays, with the best acupuncturist in the entire world.

7) Not to mention, church on Sundays and spiritual reading/meditation every day!

8) And exercise as I can tolerate it :-) Lots and lots of sunshine.

9) Last but certainly not least, I am so hugely indebted to the support network I have found on the Road Back Foundation bulletin board. I can't believe how far I have come emotionally in the last two months and how much progress I have made in terms of getting a diagnosis and getting on treatment. I would never have come this far so fast without the RBF and I have received so much valuable advice and support from the other members of the group. I laugh and cry when reading their posts, and after hearing so many staggering stories of healing and remission, I truly believe in miracles.

10) Tomorrow is the big day.

I have been told by many, many, many people including doctors and clinic owners that I should expect to get worse before I get better... expect to feel like I have a terrible flu or strong flares of my symptoms as the actual bacteria or protozoa begin to react to getting chased by antimicrobials/antimalarials. Even though I am going low and slow with herbs and homeopathics to start, I am still expecting this.

But I am not very scared of the Herxheimer response ("herxing", they call it). I am more afraid that I will somehow be the one lyme patient for whom none of the many treatment options or modalities will work... and that I will just get sicker instead of getting well.

That isn't the best of me talking, though. Just the small, scared part. The best part of me knows that I have a ton more to do and accomplish in this world... most of all, to love and care for my children and husband who I adore. I have found the path of Road Back, AP, Lyme treatment, etc. because I am willing to do whatever it takes to get well and somewhere deep down, I really believe that I will. I am very excited to step into the miraculous!

So, that said... I'll let you know how it goes!